all of my friends have close relationships with their moms and i feel like an outsider because mine just hurts me emotionally and makes me wanna die :-)

when you like a bitchy passive aggressive post someone made about you and they get paranoid for the rest of the day ✌️

reasons to not kill myself:

  1. chicago roadtrip/monumentour in two days
  2. i hopefully get to meet ale next week
  3. 11 days until two year anniversary with aino
  4. 55 days until school starts up again
  5. i turn twenty in three months
  6. milwaukee film festival in three months
  7. chicago int’l film festival maybe in three months?
  8. five months until i (maybe????) can see aino again
  9. anime milwaukee in seven months
  10. kevin spacey is a thing that exists
  11. robert redford is a thing that exists
  12. jc chandor and jessica chastain made a movie together
  13. and i get to see it this year
  14. yugioh is a thing that exists
  15. i get to live with my friends
  16. it will get better

i can’t stop crying

i’ve been in such a good stable mood these past few weeks

and now i can feel myself sinking back down and i hate myself

someone please come kill me

or something

when you’re sad for reasons you can’t even explain on a personal blog


i had to make a delivery to a house tonight and the delivery name was my grandma’s first name

for a second i thought she’d open the door and say “surprise, i’m not dead” and invite me in to finally watch citizen kane like we’d always planned

it wasn’t her


A great way to relieve stress from work & family is to go for a run. Don’t stop running til ur in a new town with a new life. You’re free now

(via queerajlee)

I can’t wait to get my own apt in Milwaukee next summer and stay there and not come home and eventually get a good job and become financially independent and finally get away from a family that has done nothing but hurt and abuse me :-)

177 days since i last saw my girlfriend

18 days until our two year anniversary

???????? days until i see her again